HCU

Today is a big day. With the release of my new Spider-Man film, we’re finally entering Phase 4 of the HCU (Hamlet Cinematic Universe). Since you’d have to see every play and movie I’ve ever written for it to make sense (which would take more than a thousand years), I’ll try to recap what’s happened so far. After Hamlet is thawed from the iceberg at the end of Hamlet III, he joins forces with Rosencrantz and the Great Gildersleeve to become Denmark’s mightiest heroes, The Avengstæøåd. Along with Laertes, Bernardo, and the Hulk, they stop Dr. Gravedigger from assembling the Infinity Skulls just in time to save Thoratio from Fortinbras’ robot army. Unfortunately, this causes a blip in the multiverse, resulting in every actor who’s ever played Hamlet to battle in the Colosseum of Doom (the scene where Olivier pulverizes Branagh still gives me chills). And the best part is that this has all just been a giant advertisement for phase 20, which I promise, your great grandchildren are going to love!